One week ago today my Little Man accomplished the first full year of his breathtaking little life. There have been balloons and window festoons, cakes candles and bubbly wines. The event has been celebrated thoroughly. Mama even played “Happy B*Day” on her bass to accompany the choir of teary aunts and proud grandpas: everything has been lovely and emotional like no other occasion I can think of.
But they say that when a Child is born so is a Mother, and therefore one week ago today the disheveled New Mom that I have become accomplished the first full year of her breathtaking and somewhat erratic little life, too.
Back in the days when I was young and free I happened to be also sexually exuberant. At least, in my thoughts I was. One of the juiciest fantasies I liked to indulge in was that of going to bed with two men. First it was a fantasy, then it became an itch, then I actually made a pact with myself that, as soon as a decent occasion would show up, I’d put aside any little-girl hesitation and dig out the cojones to actually go for it. I did not exactly want to put an ad on the local newspaper or stand at the entrance of the department store handing out fliers, no. But assume that there were a party and that I were tipsy enough, assume that I’d be having a nice and sexy conversation with this one guy who also happened to be there with his best friend and assume that, when the evening would start winding down, one of them would offer: Why don’t we escort you home and maybe have a night cap… or two? Well, in that case I would have known exactly how to respond. And so with renewed confidence in my potential for naughty and at peace with my desires, I sat back and waited for this extraordinary combination of circumstances to come my way.
today has not been easy, I know. A day when nothing tastes right, because anything you put in your mouth simply hurts. Hell, it hurts even if you don’t put anything in there. No wonder: three of them, all at once! And you’ve been taking it with your chin up, with that tough baby pride which is so you. Three swollen buds on the upper gum and you can see the white through the skin already. You didn’t cry much, but you’ve been cross, restless, desperate for a hug all day long. It just hurts, and only Mama’s breast feels right, Mama’s chest, neck, being in her arms, nowhere else is good. Not even the Cold Fish was of any use to relieve you a bit. Growing up is so tough, I know.